Posted by: k | April 3, 2010

Uncertainty

I should be enjoying this weekend. I am, but not as much as I should.

I’m stressing about work. And whether it’s working. I did get some positive feedback from my agency this week, but then I got some not so positive feedback directly on Thursday afternoon. I’m still trying to figure out a routine and make the job mine – yes, it’s a contract, but it’s a long contract. The feedback was that my routine isn’t working.

If this falls through, I wouldn’t be devastated. I’d be pissed off about having to find more temp work to keep me going, but I’d be okay.

The course is my light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve always had it in the back of my mind that I want to work for myself. I want to call the shots – it’s not that I don’t like authority, it’s more that I want that independence, that flexibility. Now I’m studying, it seems almost within reach. It excites me. It’s giving me options. I can see myself now, working in a salon. I think that’s part of my problem. My long-awaited course is in progress and I can see the possibilities.

My “bread and butter” job? Not as exciting as it used to be. And I’m still learning it, three weeks after jumping contracts – this accounts job is so much more in-depth than my last, and I went into this contract thinking I’d have it down pat in a few days. I underestimated it. I’m doing my best to make it work, to pick things up as quickly as I can. Sometimes I think I’m not doing too badly, and other times I wonder just what I’ve gotten myself into.

I guess I just have to make do with the cards I’m holding at the moment. I wonder how good my poker face is?

The irony – this time last year, I was sitting around lamenting that I’d done ‘nothing’ with my life so far. Fast forward 12 months, and I’m juggling!

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Responses

  1. Good luck keeping all of these balls up in the air! It’s hard to be trying to move forward on multiple fronts, but you can do it and that you’re this far is only proof of that =)


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