Posted by: k | November 16, 2008

My nerves are shot.

Today was one of those days where every tosser with half a brain got behind the wheel of a car.

First, Mum and I went down to the supermarket this morning to get some stuff for dinner. We made a u-turn at the traffic lights and went to merge into the left lane to turn into the shopping centre. This may be a little hard to explain, so bear with me. The road our shopping centre is on is three lanes wide – two lanes are for traffic turning right onto the road, and the third, far left lane is traffic turning left from the other direction. All traffic turning left has to give way to ALL traffic, whether they be making a u-turn or making a right hand turn. This intersection is notorious, because cars NEVER give way as they turn left, completely ignoring the ‘give way’ and ‘turn left at any time WITH CARE’ signs, pulling out into the road at random. I’ve seen many a close call, and been in a few myself.

Mum did a u-turn, and indicated to move into the left lane. Another car had pulled into the left lane, without giving way to us, and then wouldn’t let us merge, although we were indicating. When Mum went to move over, they sped up and starting yelling. So I yelled back, swearing, like a good lady does. Mum swore too, and asked them to move so she could get in the lane. My swearing and frantic arm-waving intensified.
(I was in no mood for fuckwits.)
Mum slowed to let them pass so she could get into the lane, but when she slowed or sped up, they stayed beside her, not letting her in. Oh, and we were swearing back and forth the whole time.

At this point I yelled “Mum, just cut the fucking bitch off!!!” Mum obliged and took off, and turned into the shopping centre. The other car followed us, all the way down into the underground carpark, where two Islanders got out and approached the car. I got out first, and discovered the other car contained not 2, but four beefy Islander women raring for a fight. The driver seemed to have it in for me – I gave it to the ignorant bitch with both barrels, saying such classics as “you’re supposed to give way back there, dipshit” and “learn to fucking read”.

We ended up just walking away (okay well, I was so angry and ready for a brawl Mum had to grab me and drag), but we made sure we mentioned we got their number plate, as they were threatening to damage Mum’s car.

Before we walked into the shopping centre and they got back into the car, I managed to flip the bird one last time. Was satisfying, although I was shaking like a leaf. If there’s a group of people you don’t mess with in this area, it’s the Islanders. But fuck it, she broke the law and nearly hit us, and she was at fault. Ignorant bitch.

There was no damage to the car when we returned.

But wait, there’s more!!!

Matt and I went out to see his sister. We were there for awhile, then a storm started closing in so we left to get the washing off the line. We approached the intersection (a different one from this morning), and got stuck behind a taxi going at a snail’s pace. The light was green. The taxi was going right; we were going left.

The taxi then decided that oh, it could go a little faster and went out into the intersection. Matt stopped, and I was about to ask why, when I saw the events unfolding in slow motion.

Taxi, in the intersection beginning to turn. And then a white car approaching at speed, running the red light, suddendly braking, tyres squealing, brakes locking, and then… SMASH.

See Fig. 1:



 Okay, the diagram is shiteous, but you get the idea.

I have never been so grateful for a taxi in all my life. If that taxi hadn’t been there, that other car would have gone flying through the red light, and t-boned us, straight into the driver’s side.

Matt later joked about it, saying he could have gotten a new car out of it, but once I snapped back that I couldn’t get a new Matt, he shut up.

On a side note, the taxi was a Yellow Cab, but over here, they’re painted orange. Go figure.

I wanted to go to another shopping centre to see about getting a new mobile phone – mine likes to turn itself off, not hold its charge, and generally annoy the shit out of me. After these two instances though, we thought it best to stay out of the car. It seemed like it would have been a case of third time unlucky.

My nerves are totally on edge – I yelled at Matt before because he popped a balloon and scared the shit out of me – and I’m really not looking forward to getting into my car and driving to work tomorrow, even though today I was only a passenger.

One of my driving mottos is “if you don’t like my driving, stay off the footpath”, but today I feel that would have been the safest place to be!



  1. That sounds terrible! There are some really shocking drivers around here. I can imagine it would be scary to be confronted by them in the car!

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