Posted by: k | August 3, 2008

Blubbering Mess!

A few weeks ago our neighbours welcomed their second child -a girl named Amelia.

Yesterday, after several missed opportunities, we got to see the new baby. She is absolutely gorgeous, lots of dark hair, quiet, content, and very alert. Belinda barely got in the door before my mum grabbed the baby!

I got to hold her after a few minutes. It was fine at first, she was happy with me. Then I started freaking out. There I am, holding this little thing staring back at me, and she was squirming a little – which sounds stupid, because yes, I know I was holding a living, breathing baby – and then I looked at her and she had this look on her face like she was about to cry and I panicked! I just froze, and then Mum realised I was freaking out and offered to take the baby back.

I felt terrible, all I did was hold her and I just panicked. She didn’t cry, I had a good grip of her… I don’t know. I just felt horrible about the fact that I couldn’t even manage holding a month-old baby for 5 minutes.

And then I thought – geez, what kind of mother am I going to be? If I can’t hold a baby, how am I going to feed it, change it, bath it and raise it? Am I going to get that maternal instinct?

Mum and Belinda had a bit of a laugh, but it’s really gotten to me. This obviously proves that I’m not ready to have kids – but will I ever be? And if I am ready later on, will I be a good parent?

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Responses

  1. i could never hold a baby til i held my own … and I only dropped Aly once !!!! (on her head) and she turned out just fine 😉

    it is truly different with your own


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