Posted by: k | June 2, 2008

Three weeks on…

So, it’s been nearly three weeks without Snuggles. It’s quite weird. I’m still used to having him around. That’s a weird statement in itself – Snuggles was a part of the family for 17 years, so of course it’s expected to think like he’s still around, no?

It is really hard to talk about him in past tense. It’s still not believable, to some degree. I see his collar on my desk every morning, which I’ve slowly gotten used to, but talking about his antics and what he used to do, is very difficult.

I took some pictures of his garden the other day. It’s nearly done, it just needs a few potted plants, which will come soon. On one hand, it’s like the garden’s been there forever. On the other, part of me wants to run down, dig it up and get him out because it’s an unnatural feeling, knowing that he’s in the ground.

Here’s the garden, as it is at the moment. Dad made the picket fence himself and put it up. Dad used to say that he hated Snuggles, but he cried as hard as any of us that night.

Here’s a close-up of the little sign Mum found for him. I think it’s very poignant, that the sign says “Welcome”, but the puppies are so sad. It sums it all up, really. Snuggles was always happy to see you, and we’re all very sad that he’s no longer around…

On a seemingly more random note, here are my slippers:

I bought these a few years ago, just to stir Snuggles. He used to love play-fighting with your feet, whether you were wearing shoes, socks, or barefoot. He never bit down – his trick was holding his mouth open over your big toe, and if you moved, he’d jump and bark and repeat the process. I saw these slippers, and I couldn’t resist!

The first few times I wore them, he was mortified. He wouldn’t come near me… he actually thought they were real dogs! Once he realised that my feet were in them though, that was it. My favourite game was trapping Snuggles between my feet and swaying him from side to side.  He, in turn, would turn on his chosen nemesis, left or right, and bite the nose and ears, slapping his paw down on its head so that it couldn’t get away. He loved it when I chased him around the coffee table wearing them, too.

I still miss my dog. I miss how he hated being bathed, but once he was out of the water, he loved it. I miss how he used to bark at the vacuum cleaner when it was first switched on, but then he’d get scared and run away. I miss the frizzy hairs behind his ears. And I miss his sloppy kisses.

I hope this gets easier over time.

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