Posted by: k | October 22, 2007

Carry you home…

I know I’ve been avoiding the subject for awhile now, but you guys deserve an update so, here goes…

The past few days have been rough, Dad’s been calling every day instead of every second day (which I wasn’t complaining about), and he was updating us on Nan, and that her pain had been getting worse, and the doctors had put her on a morphine drip.

One day, he went to see her, and she didn’t stop talking the whole time – but she wasn’t talking to him, and he was the only one there. On Saturday, she was lucid, and talking, and calm.

Our phone rang at 4am this morning. It rang out before I could wake myself up enough to get up and answer it, but I knew. I put the cordless beside Mum’s bed – because last night was the first night since Dad left that she actually slept – and then she woke up and I told her the phone had rung, and I played her the voicemail message, which was just static.

Mum told me to go back to bed, which I did, begrudgingly. Needless to say, I didn’t sleep.

The phone rang again, and Mum got it on the first ring.

I got up at 7am, to hear the news that I knew was coming, but dreaded all the same.

Nan has passed… she’s not suffering anymore. My auntie was with her, and my dad was on his way, but he got there 15 minutes too late. But she wasn’t alone.

I was looking at a quotes site a few weeks ago, and found a little poem that would be perfect for… now:

God saw she were getting tired
And a cure was not meant to be
So he put his arms around her
And whispered come here with me
With tearful eyes we watched her
As we saw her pass away
Although we love her deeply
We could never make her stay
Her golden heart stopped beating
Hard working hands at rest
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best

And of course, James Blunt. When I got the new album, I listened to all the songs, and thought one in particular, Carry You Home, was beautiful. It took a couple of listens to actually comprehend the lyrics though, and when I did, I started bawling. And this morning, the chorus was in my head:

Strong as you were, tender you go
I’m watching you breathing for the last time
A song for your heart, but when it gets quiet
I’ll know what it means, and I’ll carry you home…

Okay, I’m done now. A very heavy post, I know, but I think it’s deserving… and I’m going to wrap it up now because I’m at work, and the last thing I need is my boss to walk out and see me bawling my eyes out… and my mascara’s not waterproof.



  1. I’m so sorry to hear that your Nan has passed away. I can tell from your words that you are thinking about it as a blessing – she is no longer in pain. I am glad that your Dad was able to be with her during this time – I am sure that meant a lot to her and she understood that he was there, and supporting her.

    I hope you are okay. *hug*

  2. […] here Author admin Comments […]

  3. Big hugs coming from me to you — I know how hard this must be for everyone there, and you’re all in my thoughts. Much love, Kel. xo

  4. Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that, Kel. Hugs and good thoughts to you and your family.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: