Posted by: k | August 31, 2007

Free fertiliser!

Ok, so I admit that I probably don’t live in the best area. I don’t live in the worst area either. Currently, the best neighbours we have are the ones on our left-hand side. The house is empty.

On the other side of the empty house, there’s another house (duh). We know the blokes that are in there, and they’re ok. Not the sharpest tools in the shed. One of them can fix anything mechanical, and has looked at my car a couple of times, and fixed my dad’s problems with computers and stuff.

Well, about a week ago, they put up massive blue tarpaulin over their front decking. It’s connected to the gutter, and then it falls down over the decking, and down to the ground. It looks bloody horrible! Plus, the tarp’s not UV protected, so in another week or so, it’s just going to disintegrate.

I’m just setting the scene for you though, because what I really want to tell you about is their attempt at gardening.

Sounds fairly innocent, doesn’t it?

Two nights ago, we were all at the dinner table, and Mum says to me “have you looked in their front yard lately?”

Now normally, I’m pretty observant. Also, their house faces down the connecting street, so you can see it as you approach my street and turn the corner. But, I admitted that I hadn’t seen the yard.

And then she said, and I quote:

“They’ve got 3 ceramic toilet bowls in the yard, with plants in them.”


Imagine, if you will, a fairly ordinary house, with a butt-ugly blue tarp hanging off it, and three evenly spaced, white toilet bowls with shrubs in them.

Can you imagine it? I didn’t. I did have a good look on the way home today. I was stunned.

They obviously think it looks good. The rest of us? Probably not.

Matt’s witty retort when he saw them?

“Now it’s a craphole, literally!”

Then the rest of us chipped in saying how the neighbours will be getting some free fertiliser. Ya know, because people will come along and poop in the toilet bowls.

I will have to try and get a photo of it, because I didn’t believe it until I saw it. And I’m sure you won’t either.

It’s good for a laugh… as long as it’s not in YOUR street!



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