Posted by: k | April 2, 2007

8992

I'm hungry. Or maybe I think I'm hungry. I'm kinda bored, and a little bit down, and when I'm either of those things, I tend to eat. I've got my satay chicken wrap in the freezer ready to go, but lunch isn't for another hour yet.

*Sigh*

I've got the radio on at work, as always, and today they seem to be playing sad kinda songs, like Nelly Furtado – All Good Things and a few others I can't remember. I'm still feeling stressed because everyone seems adamant that I'm making such a mistake with Matt, and we can't afford to get our own place yet to really test the waters. I just wish people would have a bit more faith in me, I love him to death and he makes me happy, and he's so supportive of this whole health-kick thing. I think it's because they're worried that he isn't going to be able to support me financially etc, but hey, the guy's trying, so give him some credit okay? I got to thinking the other day, and I really don't think I could live without him now. I know this is right… hell, I wouldn't have said yes to his proposal if I didn't really love him.

Gah… I really want to eat now, and I'm tempted to go to the cafe and grab something and then eat the wrap as well. Mmmm, they do a really nice Moroccan lamb wrap. Oh geez. Maybe I should just go, and have the chicken wrap tomorrow. Yeah, I think I'm going to do that. I won't be as badly behaved as I was on Friday with the lasagne (but it tastes soooo good), but I think I'm getting a little jack of eating frozen meals. And bread. I feel like all I ever eat is bread. I've just written in the diary that I'm going out for lunch, so that's it. I'm going.

Anyway, if I eat anything too bad, I've got the exercise bike to answer to this evening. I'm really tired because I didn't go for my walk this morning, apparently it was raining, but maybe in future I should get up anyway and jump on the bike instead. I'm going to tell mum that when I get home, since she wakes me up.

Most of the communities I go to on here are pretty much dead at the moment. BlurtySecret and Unsent are going nowhere at all lately. At least I've still got the girls from thinandhealthy. I'm really glad I found that community, and the girls are so supportive, and offer advice from a different perspective, and it's really refreshing, considering all the eating disorder journals around here. I don't think they'll read this, but they've been a big help, and I'm starting to feel like I'm one of the gang now.

45 minutes until lunchtime… and I'm pondering all the wonderful things I can buy from the cafe. The cafe is actually pretty good, I could always go to the carvery across the road, but I've only ever been once, and I felt pathetic for giving in and having hot chips, so at least at the cafe I can have a toasted sandwich, or a salad roll or something. I think I might get a chicken and cheese toasted sandwich and maybe a small roll or something.

Ahh crap… the guys are back to install more shelving upstairs at work. They were in on Friday, and they stunk out the entire office building with the resin stuff they used to set the joins.
So how is work, you ask? Not bad. I'm getting my traineeship finalised today, so that's good. Hopefully I can start in the next few weeks. I'm looking forward to Easter this year, the first Easter in my working life that I won't have to work through. A four day long weekend! I won't know what to do with myself!
At the moment I'm entering all the invoices I haven't gotten around to doing yet, and I hate invoices, so that is probably why this is such a long post.

34 minutes until lunchtime. You know what. I'm going to have the wrap, I think. Maybe not. Then I'll look like a pig. I'll just grab an extra mouthful at the cafe. I have an awful feeling that thinking about eating for the past half an hour is making me even hungrier.

Jeez. I'll be glad when all these bloody shelves are in. They're making a hell of a noise. I think it'll look good once it's done. The other two girls are getting split up, and one's going upstairs while the other stays down here. I secretly am glad it's happening, because they seem to talk a hell of a lot, and yeah, it's kinda distracting, that I'm expected to work 8 hours solid when they sit facing each other and talk, and go on the net and stuff. Anyhoo, can't complain because I'll cop flack for it.

15 minutes until lunchtime… okay, I can't stand it anymore! I'm going to finish this post, enter a few more pesky invoices and then I'm going for a walk! The cafe awaits…

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