Kelly Marie

1. My name is Kelly Marie, if you hadn’t already established that.
2. I was born on Friday the 18th of December 1987, at 8am precisely.
3. I was born four days after my due date. Can’t rush a woman…
4. I am the oldest, middle, and youngest child in my family.
5. I am a Sagittarian. An archer. That’s right – I’m armed!
6. My personalised number/licence plates declare that Sagittarians are “direct, honest, and adventurous.”
7. Said plates are purple.
8. I am obsessed with the colour purple, hence the plates, and a lot of other things I own.
9. I had my car resprayed a metallic purple. I did say I was obsessed…
10. If it comes in purple, I will damn well have it in purple, thank you very much. If not, I will find a way to make it purple, or pitch a purple fit. A purple fit, not a pink fit.
11. I have two middle names, but tend to omit the second, which was my grandmother’s name.
12. As far as I know, second middle names aren’t that common, although my dad has two as well!
13. All of my names contain 5 letters each. How’s that for symmetry?
14. I’m getting married – Lord knows when. The date keeps changing. And yes, purple will be featured!
15. When I get married, I will be hyphenating my surname, much to my fiance’s disapproval. Symmetry will be lost.
16. But I’ll gain an extra 6 letters! And my initials will be 3 letters that feature consecutively in the alphabet.
17. That’s going to make signing my full name a total bitch, come to think of it…
18. It is totally worth it though, because my FH – future husband – is a total sweetheart. (Most of the time.)
19. He asked my dad for my hand before he proposed. Hee!
20. We got engaged after 9 months, but by the time we get married, we’ll have been together for a very, very long time. Long engagements rock.
21. I am easily amused by all things shiny and sparkly. Very, very easily amused. You have been warned.
22. Which is why I catch myself looking at my engagement ring and wiggling my fingers. A lot.
23. In February 2008, I got piercing number 4. In June 2008, I got my 5th piercing.
24. I have my ears pierced three times, my nose pierced, and most recently, my lip – better known as a Monroe.
25. Getting my Monroe was the most painful thing I’ve ever willingly subjected myself to. (And paid for.)
26. So although I wouldn’t mind another piercing, it’s not going to happen for quite awhile.
27. I spent a week looking and feeling like I’d been punched in the face with my last piercing.
28. Piercings, yes. Tattoos, no.
29. I know a lot of people beg to differ, but in most cases I personally find tattoos tacky and/or trashy on women.
30. Although, if I were to get a tattoo, it would be a daffodil (Welsh national flower and the Cancer Council symbol).
31. I don’t just collect piercings/jewellery. I have clothing and handbag fetishes, too.
32. Shoes are okay. I have a lot of shoes, but am not consumed with lust whenever walking past a shoe store…
33. I have really weak ankles, so I don’t wear heels that often. They make my ankles ache, and then I hobble around like a little old lady. Not hot.
34. It’s a shame, because I need the height advantage, since I’m 164cm tall and FH stands at 189cm. (That’s 5′4″ and 6′3″ imperial.)
35. I seem to have an impressive memory for numbers, and distinguishing patterns in numbers. I remember my aunt’s phone number from back when we lived in Melbourne. I was 5. I remember number plates, too.
36. Which I guess is good since I work in finance.
37. Ironic, because I really hated maths at school. I much preferred Chemistry.
38. I love to collect stationery. Among other things, I have scented highlighters and a diamante-studded stapler and calculator set.
39. Yes, you read correctly. DIAMANTE-STUDDED stapler and calculator. The stapler has been referred to as the “Liberace stapler”.
40. I hate stairs – not because I’m lazy. I hate going down stairs because you have to look down. And see how far you can possibly fall down said stairs, if you are a klutz like me. And if I don’t look down, I get vertigo.
41. Which is why nobody in this world could pay me enough money to do any of the following: skydiving, bungee-jumping, hang-gliding etc. Why jump out of a perfectly good plane?
42. I haven’t been on a plane since I was 6, so I don’t remember what it’s like to fly.
43. I do remember that I was sick, though, and threw up during the flight. And in my grandfather’s car on the way home.
44. I ended up with an ear infection – something I’ve had lots of experience with since.
45. Sinus infections, too. I’ve been told by a specialist that I’ll need surgery to cure my chronic sinusitis. Pfft.
46. I am incredibly superstitious.
47. We have a 5c piece in each room of our house, as my dad believes it brings good luck.
48. If you open an umbrella indoors and I see you, you’re in biiiiiig trouble. People do it to piss me off.
49. I hate ladders, but black cats don’t worry me.
50. Speaking of luck, since I’ve been with Matt, both of us have had unlucky things happen to us on December 26.
51. The first December 26 we were together, half of Matt’s tooth snapped off while he was eating a soft chicken sandwich.
52. The second one, I fell and tore several ligaments in my left ankle while shopping. AND I KEPT GOING! I ended up going to see my doctor about it a week later, when I had one black and blue cankle I couldn’t put weight on. Imagine my uncoordinated self trying to get around on crutches for a month.

…I’ll wait until you stop laughing…

53. Speaking of left, I am left-handed, and very proud of it!
54. I want to learn to knit, but nobody can teach me due to my leftiness.
55. I couldn’t tie my shoelaces until I was 12. Until then I was stuck with velcro. How ’90s. (Well, it was the ’90s…)
56. I have never broken a bone, which is probably out of sheer dumb luck, considering my penchant for walking into inanimate objects.
57. I’ve never had any fillings or major dental work, either. When I had my first wisdom tooth taken out, I was told I have strong, healthy teeth. Yay!
58. If I could change anything about my face, I think I’d get braces. My teeth aren’t horrible, but my two front teeth are a bit longer than the others.
59. I am a hoarder. No matter how small or insignificant, I find it really hard to throw something away. Hence all my previously mentioned collections…
60. I get it from my dad… who got it from his dad.
61. If I could, I’d change my hair colour as often as I change my underwear. I like mixing things up.
62. I went through a phase where I’d change my hair colour every 6 weeks. I went from blonde, to red, to black, to blonde… in under 6 months.
63. Having short hair makes it easier to get away with radical colour changes. It gets cut out fairly quickly and doesn’t leave my hair fried.
64. I got offered $150 to shave my head once. No way. Short hair, hot. Bald, not hot.
65. I am a perfectionist, but not a neat freak.
66. The perfectionism has led to me being quite the procrastinator.
67. It frustrates me that I start things, but don’t finish them because it’s not going to be “perfect”. How many times have you checked this page to see it unfinished?
68. I have quirks – things that I have to do the “right” way, or I feel, I dunno, strange.
69. Everything has to be in pairs. I’ll eat things in pairs, especially potato chips. (And this is on an odd numbered point, which will annoy the shit out of me until I think of something to insert above.)
70. Four is the perfect number because it’s a pair of pairs. See?
71. When I hang out the washing, the pegs used for any particular item have to be the same colour.
72. When I was moving out of home, my mum went looking for a packet of pegs that had just one colour, because she thinks it’s hilarious. She didn’t succeed. My pegs are in three colours.
73. I don’t eat fruit. At all. I’ve tried many – I just don’t like the taste and texture.
74. I’m pretty good with my vegetables, though. Except peas. Peas are the devil’s spawn. And they’re green. I don’t do green. Kermit sings “It’s Not Easy Being Green” because it’s true – it’s a shitty colour.
75. Back to the purple – people try and tell me liking purple means I’m sexually frustrated. I tell them they’re speaking from their own personal experiences, not mine!
76. Actually, the December 2009 issue of Cosmopolitan says that those who like the colour purple specialise in passionate and exciting sex. I showed the article to Matt and he read it with a smirk, so he clearly agrees. See? Not frustrated!
77. I can be very quick witted and am known to come out with one-liners that often leave the recipient thinking “huh?” while everyone else laughs at them. Is fun!
78. I’m finding that this skill gets even better – and dirtier – when I’ve been drinking.
(Example – my cocktail wasn’t mixed properly and the glass was too full to stir, so I blew bubbles through the straw to mix it.
A friend says: “You’re supposed to be sucking that, not blowing in it!”
I say: “There’s plenty of time for sucking later.” Hilarity ensues.)
79. I am VERY stubborn, which usually means I can hold a grudge for a loooooong time, although I’m getting better at going with the flow.
80. Matt knows not to give me the silent treatment – I end up beating him at his own game and he gets pissed off because he never wins. He admitted it. And yet, he still tries… silly boy.
81. I don’t drink tea or coffee. Now I’m a twenty-something, people find that strange.
82. Don’t ask me if I would like some chewing gum – it’s insulting. I can chew it until the flavour is gone, and then I start choking on it. Seriously.
83. I can’t whistle. Family members used to give me shit about this for years, until I locked myself away in an attempt to teach myself. I can now do a very, VERY weak wolf-whistle, but can’t do it in front of people when asked – stage fright?